Not Sorry for Partying
- DOB: April 9, 1977. 7:19 p.m.
- The sun in Aries. The moon in Capricorn.
- Abba’s Dancing Queen was number on the Billboard Pop Chart
That’s when it all began. At least for me.
Fast forward 40 years and nearly 200 Phish shows. Is time moving faster or is does it just seem like there is less of it left for me? Birthdays are always a reason to pause and take stock of where you’ve been and where you are going. Forty is one of those milestone ages that everyone expects will make you feel different in some way or another…one of those ages you say with an inflection in your voice…like “can you believe it? I’m 40?”
I don’t feel 40. But what exactly does 40 look like or feel like? As cliche as it sounds, the old adage that it’s not about how old you are, but how old you feel is a reality. Truth be told, physically I feel the healthiest I’ve been in my entire life. Mentally and emotionally though, I realize the more I think I know, the less I actually know.
In typical cavalier-fashion though, here’s a bit of advice I can’t help but share based on the life in my years:
#NeverStopPlaying
Don’t exercise to stay in shape. Stay active so your body, mind, soul and imagination don’t shrivel up and die. Maybe this means taking a walk on your lunch break or swimming laps with a friend after work. Maybe it means checking out Adult Skate Night at Horizons Fun FX on Thursday nights in the winters. Maybe it means trying a new sport or pumping up those bike tires so you can join my bike gang for Lilac Festival and Party in the Park this summer under the moon and stars, feeling quite like a little girl who’s missed her curfew. Whatever it is, never stop playing.
#Sorry #NotSorry
This is in no way shape or form an excuse to be mean, spiteful, vengeful, snarky or even sarcastic. Follow the golden rule. Treat others as you expect to be treated. The same goes for you. Treat yourself like you want others to treat you. Learning to love myself rather than finding my confidence in being loved by others has been one of the biggest lessons up until this point in my life. I’m a people-pleaser at heart, but I’ve also learned the importance of being selfish and learning how to decide if something is a full YES or just a maybe before I commit to it. The next step is learning how not to feel bad for saying no or learning how to not feel a sense of FOMO when you aren’t included in everyone’s plans all the time. I’m still working on not holding grudges and not being sorry.
#ChangeItUp
Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. The best things happen when you aren’t afraid to change it up and let go of control. In the past 40 years, I’ve found the only constant in life is change. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable, but don’t let it prevent you from meeting a new person every single day, from questioning the preconceived notions you might have, or even just deciding to get rid of all of your belongings and follow your passion wherever it may lead.
#GiveBack
About two years ago, I discovered minimalism. Once I 
was able to clear the physical clutter in my life, I found myself yearing for a way to make a bigger impact on the world. I decided to sign up to lead the Rochester Minimalists community, which led to me helping to form a hyper-local, gift-based Buy Nothing community in my neighborhood. As a result of that, my world has been opened up to the power of community, the thrill of living with less by sharing with others, and suddenly, the world feels a whole lot smaller. I’ve learned is that sometimes we need to set our sights on the smaller picture and remember that making a difference in one person’s world is making a difference in the
world.
#NotSorryForPartying
Welcome to my 40th Birthday Tour if you will…something that conjures up memories of Sesame Street’s “Here’s Your Life” with Guy Smiley. The goal is to celebrate with as many of the amazing people who have inspired me, supported me and been part of this amazing journey so far!
L
ast weekend, my friends and family spoiled me with two parties. Saturday night included a get-together at the VFW with friends and family. We enjoyed the best wings in the city of Oswego along with a selection of three different wing sauces, made by the VFW, two sheet pizzas from Pizza Villa, a cake with an image of me and my old dog Lucy on it, songs from my generation on the juke box, pool, dancing and singing!
The fun continued 
Sunday with a party with my mother’s family at Battle Island golf course, catered by Kristen’s Kitchen. We enjoyed a delicious lunch buffet in a beautiful room with cathedral ceilings, exposed wood beams and plenty of natural lighting. Just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get any sweeter, we cut the Phish-themed cake with my favorite buttercream frosting from Cake’s Galore.
This weekend, I’ve invited my friends to start their weekend off right by joining me for my regular Saturday morning yoga class with my best friend, roommate and yoga teacher Nicole deViere at Yoga DrishTi, followed by bowling at L&M Lanes right down the street at 7:30 p.m. that evening!
Next weekend, the festivities wrap up in Buffalo with some pre-gaming at McGarrett’s before DeadPhish Orchestra at the Tralf followed by the Phish Tribute “Dinner and A Movie” at the Dinosaur BBQ.
In addition, instead of presents, I’ve asked my friends to commit a Random (or not so random) Act of Kindness. This idea is a joint effort with one of my most longtime friends (notice I didn’t say old) Lindsay Conley to celebrate our 40th birthdays which are just one week apart. So far, the campaign has been really inspiring with friends doing everything from picking up trash, buying someone hamburger rolls and even renewing their yoga practice by supporting local studio Yoga DrishTi!
What’s the point of me sharing all of this? My hope is that you will not be ashamed to celebrate where you’ve been, how far you’ve come, and who you are today! You don’t even need to have a birthday to find an excuse to just get out and enjoy life with those you love! Live large! Don’t apologize. Find your truth and tell it.
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